6 Responses to “Bee Tornado”
  1. cgreen says:

    Temi you have effectively created a powerful comparison. You choose words for effect. I particularly liked the repetition of stinging and I liked the gentle ending – only the buzzing of the bees in the hive.

  2. Alice Overend says:

    Well done Temi. I liked the way you started it.

  3. Alice Overend says:

    Well done Temi! I liked the way you started it. I think it is funny.

  4. Annabelle says:

    Well Done Temi! I liked the expression you used in your voice which made it sound scary and frightening but then you made your voice go calm and peaceful. The words you used expressed the whole poem. Well Done!

  5. williamg says:

    Well done. I liked the repetitive writing and how you compared the bees to a tornado!

  6. Charlotte says:

    I really like the words that you used, such as violently and and the repetition. I don’t think you need to improve on anything, it was all very good.

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